I Lost a Friend Today...

I lost a friend today. It happens to all of us. I'm not special in that regard. But she was special. She was older. OK, quite a bit older. She had a few years on most of us. And she had a beautiful, young heart. She brought so much to so many. She was a poet, a musician, a mom, a sister, an aunt and so much more to so many people. She was a wonderful wife to a great man for a good many years. When she lost Henry, or Hank as I liked to call him, it was tough for her. But she was surrounded by friends who cared deeply for her and kept an eye out for her. She had a good ear for looking out for other people's hearts, too. And a heart as big as the Western Kansas sky. I will miss her dearly.

Ruth played the piano at church for so long that most of us who knew her couldn't remember a time that she didn't play. That is, up until these last couple of years. Her health began to fail and it became more and more of a challenge for her to play. But on occasion when she did, she never failed to make everyone's heart sing. She connected to people and people connected to her. Music is beautiful like that. Her poetry was just as good as her piano playing. The only difference is that many of us didn't even know she wrote poetry for the longest time.

I remember when my son, Ty, was younger, he had a small computer business that he operated, selling and servicing computers. Ruth had bought or been given a funky old computer that she used to write down her poems. It was easier than using a typewriter but it was certainly not easy for her. Ruth must have been close to 80 years old when she started using her computer. Well, she called Ty one day and wondered if he could come by and have a look at her computer. She just couldn't get it to print. Well, I drove Ty over by her little single-wide and she invited us in and showed us the way to the little office where the computer sat on a small desk. It didn't take Ty long to figure out that the problem was simply a case of the printer being out of ink! Ty didn't have the proper cartridge on hand but he ordered one that evening. The cartridge came in and we went back by and he installed the cartridge for Ruth and had her back in business. You would have thought that he had reinvented the wheel. Ruth was so tickled that he got her up and running again. I remember that as being the first of many times that Ty went by to check on Ruth just to see that she was getting along alright. At the time, he was in middle school; probably not more that 12 or 13 years old. Today, Ty has graduated from Washburn University with a degree in Business and is living and working in California. But in between middle school and now, Ty has kept in touch with Ruth, even going by to see her when he was home on school breaks or vacation. She always referred to him as "my friend, Ty". That makes me very proud of him. I probably haven't even told him that I was proud of him for that, but now I will. Thanks, Ty, for being a friend to my friend. She loved you, too, ya know!

Friends are funny. Sometimes you don't realize what they even mean to you until they aren't around anymore. I fear that maybe I have neglected too many friends over the years. Friends from school. Friends that I have worked with over time. Old college friends who have drifted away. Occassionally, someone will drop a line or give me a call and I will think, "it's great to hear from my friend". I wonder why we let friends go so long without getting in touch? My friend, Mike, from Fort Worth. My friend, Chuck, who's grandparents lived next door to me when I was a kid. My cousins who are to numerous to mention! Friends who I have known over the past twenty years and more who have come and gone. It's not that I don't care. It's just that time slips away. Pretty soon, it's ten years gone and I haven't heard anything from R.G. and Sherri or Ronnie and Melissa. I guess that we all must be somewhat alike, because if I haven't talked to them, well, they haven't talked to me, either! Funny how that works, aint it!

Maybe I can change. Maybe we all can change. I remember when I was a kid going to Bob and Marie's house on Friday nights. The folks would play Pinochle and us kids would play Crazy 8's. That's card games for you that might have questions. But everything stopped when Gunsmoke came on TV! Actually, The Flintstones came on first, but the "old people" weren't as interested in The Flintstones. EVERYONE stopped for Gunsmoke! It was a big deal, ya know! People actually stopped by for visits back when I was a kid. That doesn't happen much anymore. If you stop by someone's house unannounced now, you had better have Girl Scout Cookies! (Made from real girl scouts!) Friends shouldn't have to have announcements to stop by and say "hi"! What the heck has happened to us?

We need friends. I need friends. You need friends. We all need friends. Friends help us when we need a second opinion or when you need to bounce an idea around a little. You see, two heads are better than one. Someone, somewhere said that several times. It just took me a while to get it! It's really good to be married to a friend. Things work better that way! You don't have to drive so far for someone to give you that little tidbit of insight to the worlds problems. The spouse might be the a good source of information! What a concept, huh! " friend in need is a friend indeed." I'm not sure who said that but it sounds heavy. I do remember a friend from "the olden days" who had a similar line: " A friend with weed is a friend indeed". Gosh, I wonder what he meant by that??? ... Nevermind. Steve, we won't name names, OK!?!?!

Anyway, I think I will make a point of getting hold of a few of my old friends. Katie, if you are out there, it was good to get your email a couple of weeks back. And if I can get to Brenham, I'll take you up on the place to throw my nap-sack! Jeanette, how's St. Paul? Hey, Mike! This may be the year we really go to Mexico! Hey, Dana! How are things in Leveland? And I hear there's snow in St Louis, but I'm sure it will melt by the time I get my bike tuned up and running!

We will all miss you Ruth. Thanks to all my friends for listening! I love you, ya know, even if I haven't told you lately. Sorry if I haven't been in touch enough.


IF YOU SEE HER, SAY HELLO
Bob Dylan

If you see her, say hello; she might be in Tangier.
She left here last early spring, is livin there, I hear.
Say for me that I'm all right though things get kind of slow.
She might think that I've forgotten her, don't tell her it isn't so.

We had a falling-out, like lovers often will.
And to think of how she left that night, it still brings me a chill.
And though our separation, it pierced me to the heart.
She still lives inside of me, we've never been apart.

If you get close to her, kiss her once for me.
I always have respected her for busting out and gettin free.
Oh, whatever makes her happy, I won't stand in the way.
Though the bitter taste still lingers on from the night I tried to make her stay.

I see a lot of people as I make the rounds.
And I hear her name here and there as I go from town to town.
And I've never gotten used to it, I've just learned to turn it off.
Either I'm too sensitive or else Im gettin soft.

Sundown, yellow moon, I replay the past.
I know every scene by heart, they all went by so fast.
If shes passin back this way, I'm not that hard to find.
Tell her she can look me up if shes got the time.


Peace. Out. PW